One of my 3 Dads

Today during my lunch hour I spoke with my biological father on the phone. He’s been trying to establish a relationship with me and my siblings for the past year. The first time I spoke to him was winter of 2000 when I was on the cusp of self-destructing from a difficult bout with depression. At the time, I believed he only came around because his father told him that I was suicidal and he didn’t want to be blamed for it. The SpermDonor (as my sister and I referred to him) was around for about a year and then dropped off again. I was pretty hurt by it but I hadn’t put too much weight into his return in the first place.

So, when he called me March of 2004 I was pretty shocked. But I wasn’t going to invested much into this relationship this time around. As of late, I have maintained a safe emotional distance from him because if he decides to disappear again, I’ll be prepared. Honestly, he has impressed me this time around. He is much more devoted and has really pursued me and my sister. He has even moved back to our hometown.

When we spoke today I was finally honest about my apprehensions and emotional disconnect. He totally understood but what he said next completely blew my mind. He said, “Whatever I need to do I’ll do it. I cannot imagine my life without you and your sister in it”.

Whoa. That statement is so deep to me. At first I thought I was hearing things but he repeated himself a few times. It was extremely powerful to me. I still have not completely let down my guard but it was good to hear him express my importance to him.