Family Ties
I haven’t written in a while because I have had lots on my mind; too much to decipher and figure out. One thing that is permeating is my complicated family situation is finally reaching some reconciliation. Since Memorial Day I have been introduced to family I never knew I had and I am basically overwhelmed…
I am family person and my family is one of 3 things that keep me living. My two sisters are even my best friends. This may blow your mind but I essentially have 3 “mothers” (one biological, one ex-stepmom whom I love, and one current stepmother) and 3 “fathers” (one biological whom I am just getting to know, one ex-stepfather who is my “Daddy”, and one current stepfather of 3 years). I also have 4 biological sisters, 3 biological brothers, one relational sister, two stepbrothers, one stepsister, and one stepsibling on the way (dude I have no comment). Those folks have children and as a result I have 13 nieces and nephews. What the f***k?!!! This is bananas right?!
When my mom got remarried for the last time I recall telling my first stepmom how I was tired of everyone basically complicating my life by continuing to add people to it. I was struggling with how I was going to relate to the continue influx of people added to the family through marriage. She told me that I should thank God because having more people in my life would mean more people to love me. At the time, my biological father was still a no-show and I wasn’t very close to 6 of his children and didn’t even know most of his grandchildren. I was just thinking how complicated it would be to introduce everyone at a family reunion…
I then realized that I have so many parents because all of them are broken people and if they were all whole then I wouldn’t need so many. At any given moment some of them are not around and I rely on the ones around for morale and support. For example, my Daddy has raised me since I was a baby. He remarried last year and has a stepson and a new baby on the way (again no comment) and he has been so consumed by them. He still calls me at least a couple times a week but there as an emotional distance now and I resent him for that. But my biological father has come back into the picture and he has really stepped up and taken care of me this past year. He is making up for lost time and trying to fix his mistakes. However, when I was a baby and he was out making more kids and hiding from the child support people, my Daddy was there. The mom situation is murky as well. She was a terrible mother but she has stepped up the last few years and has even apologized for being a bad mother. My ex-stepmom was always cool. The new stepmom, well I won’t comment.
So, when people ask me how many sisters and brothers I have what do you think I say? What would you say? Well, it depends on who is doing the asking. Usually I just say I have 2 sisters and leave it at that. My mom and Daddy separately raised us girls and a baby boy (deceased) and that is what I am used to. I don’t deny the others but it is just too damn complicated and I never feel up to explaining the various situations. I guess sex and love make the world go ‘round and population control is just not PC…
I am family person and my family is one of 3 things that keep me living. My two sisters are even my best friends. This may blow your mind but I essentially have 3 “mothers” (one biological, one ex-stepmom whom I love, and one current stepmother) and 3 “fathers” (one biological whom I am just getting to know, one ex-stepfather who is my “Daddy”, and one current stepfather of 3 years). I also have 4 biological sisters, 3 biological brothers, one relational sister, two stepbrothers, one stepsister, and one stepsibling on the way (dude I have no comment). Those folks have children and as a result I have 13 nieces and nephews. What the f***k?!!! This is bananas right?!
When my mom got remarried for the last time I recall telling my first stepmom how I was tired of everyone basically complicating my life by continuing to add people to it. I was struggling with how I was going to relate to the continue influx of people added to the family through marriage. She told me that I should thank God because having more people in my life would mean more people to love me. At the time, my biological father was still a no-show and I wasn’t very close to 6 of his children and didn’t even know most of his grandchildren. I was just thinking how complicated it would be to introduce everyone at a family reunion…
I then realized that I have so many parents because all of them are broken people and if they were all whole then I wouldn’t need so many. At any given moment some of them are not around and I rely on the ones around for morale and support. For example, my Daddy has raised me since I was a baby. He remarried last year and has a stepson and a new baby on the way (again no comment) and he has been so consumed by them. He still calls me at least a couple times a week but there as an emotional distance now and I resent him for that. But my biological father has come back into the picture and he has really stepped up and taken care of me this past year. He is making up for lost time and trying to fix his mistakes. However, when I was a baby and he was out making more kids and hiding from the child support people, my Daddy was there. The mom situation is murky as well. She was a terrible mother but she has stepped up the last few years and has even apologized for being a bad mother. My ex-stepmom was always cool. The new stepmom, well I won’t comment.
So, when people ask me how many sisters and brothers I have what do you think I say? What would you say? Well, it depends on who is doing the asking. Usually I just say I have 2 sisters and leave it at that. My mom and Daddy separately raised us girls and a baby boy (deceased) and that is what I am used to. I don’t deny the others but it is just too damn complicated and I never feel up to explaining the various situations. I guess sex and love make the world go ‘round and population control is just not PC…
posted by JoiDoe @ 10:03 AM
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