Blue Collar v. White Collar Men

Last week my girl asked me if I’d marry a blue collar man. I quickly told her “no” and gave a laundry list of the reasons for my answer and detailed my rationale. I said that I wanted a man who was at least had a Bachelor degree in something and was on living a stable middle-income (ie not working-class) lifestyle. I said I wanted a man with whom I could have these deep intellectual conversations and who was well-read and traveled. I said I wanted a man who could be part of the black bourgeoisie but who was too cool to enter that world. I said I wanted a man with access to certain privileges and a college-educated man would have that. My final rationale was that I wanted a man who would see me as a complement to himself and not competition. I felt that a man who didn’t have a degree would see me as a threat to his manhood since I have a couple of professional degrees.

But I now throw all of that out of the window (I told you all that I am a woman of contradictions). I think it was simplistic of me to think that way and to totally disregard a huge segment of our population. A blue collar man can be just as versed in politics, art, literature, music, and culture as a man who holds down a white collar job (i.e. Mos Def and Talib Kweli although they aren’t really blue collar). He can be just a well-read and traveled. He can certainly have access to certain privileges and resources albeit different ones from the white collar man. Also, just because a man has been formally educated at a university does not mean that he will be more comfortable with his manhood than a non-formally educated man. Both kinds of men have the potential to see me as either a complement or competition.

All in all I just want a man who will love me completely. All men have all kinds of issues (don’t I know it). Although certain professions lend themselves to certain lifestyles, I should not be so closed off. I was at home this weekend and visited my mom. She lives in what one may call a housing project. I took a real look around myself and saw all kinds of beautiful black men. Some were working-class and some had no class but they were all valuable in their own way. Not to say that I would marry someone broke but money isn’t going to be a huge factor. Blue collar men can make lots of money to support a family anyway (especially if he is an entrepreneur).

I guess in my pursuit of the American Dream via my own personal Rags to Riches story, I’ve tried to leave behind so much of what made me who I am - the various components of the ‘hood life’ that really breeds winners and survivors. Trying to deny or hide from that past will only destroy a huge part of what makes me, me. Leaving behind some good men just for a bourgeoisie lifestyle would be just as foolish.